Monday, August 10, 2015

Remembering Rockula

1990 was a very eventful year. For example, that was the year I was born. It was also the year that a film called Rockula was released. I could have sworn I'd written about it before, but I couldn't find where I did. I first found out about Rockula about four years ago, but it certainly stuck with me past the initial viewing.

Rockula is a movie about a vampire who finds his reincarnated love every 22 years and must try to save her from a pirate with a peg leg who kills her with a ham bone. It was released on February 23, 1990. Of course, with a name like Rockula, this film is a rock opera featuring various talents like Dean Cameron, Toni Basil, Thomas Dolby, and Tawney Fere.

In the years since then, Rockula has faded in obscurity. For the longest time, you could only find Rockula on VHS, Laserdisc, and YouTube. It was apparently on Netflix for a time and Amazon Instant Video. Recently, the film has resurfaced on Amazon Instant Video for a rental fee of only $2.99. It's quite a deal at that price. Here are the top 5 reasons to rent Rockula tonight.

1. Dean Cameron

The obvious first thing is actor Dean Cameron. If you're a fan of him from his award deserving portrayal as Francis "Chainsaw" Gremp in Summer School or as Dave Marshak in Ski School, you cannot deny that Cameron has a presence. He is probably one of my favorite actors and a close personal Facebook friend of mine. In Rockula, he is perfect as Ralph LaVie and as Ralph's mirror alter ego. Not to mention, this guy can actually sing! If you don't believe me, here is a song from the movie.

I'd be doing him a disservice if I didn't at least thrown it out there that Cameron is still one of the finest actors out there. It's a pleasure to turn on your favorite show and see Dean Cameron just randomly on there, like Psych or Regular Show.

2. Toni Basil and Thomas Dolby

Eight years after their initial successful songs "Hey, Mickey" and "She Blinded Me With Science", respectively, these two one-hit wonders were the perfect co-stars for Rockula. Basil plays Ralph's mother, Phoebe, while Dolby plays the villain, Stan. It's pretty wild to see these two in this film, but Rockula is pretty out there already.

3. "Rapula"

Rockula wouldn't be the first guy to try to reinvent himself as a rapper, but I dare say that he is probably the one who did it best.

4. Mirror Ralph

As the vampire lore goes, a vampire cannot see his own reflection in a mirror. The thing with Ralph is that he sees an alternate version of himself when he looks in a mirror. This version is much more suave and sophisticated and quite the ladies man. Not to mention he is a source of pure grief for Ralph. It would be pretty weird to look in a mirror everyday and instead of your reflection, you see a completely different version of you. Maybe that's why most vampires claim to not see anything.

5. Bo Diddly

Bo Diddly acted in a total of eight things and Rockula was one of them. If that isn't enough to convince you to give this a watch, I don't know what is.

There are very few movies that I could play on repeat and not get bored with, but Rockula is certainly on that list. Do you and me a favor, invite Rockula into your home tonight.

It Follows - Review

One of the most highly praised horror films of the year is It Follows, but as with many films like this, it seems you either love it or you hate it. Well, I watched the film over the weekend and I want to tell you all about what I thought of the film.

I picked up It Follows release week at Target for $12.99 on Blu-ray. That might not matter much to you, but I love Blu-ray and I love a great release week price. That being said, I've had this film for about a month without watching it. Those closest to me sometimes get on my case about buying a film and not instantly watching it, but that is beside the point. With all the dark and stormy weather that occurred in my area over the weekend, I figured that it would be the perfect time to finally watch It Follows.

I assume since you know that this is a review, I'm not going to try to spoil the film, but if I do, I'm very sorry. Chances are, I will end up spoiling at least something.

Now, the trailer did a great job at setting up what this film is about. There is something called The It. If you have sex with someone who has The It, It follows you now. I mean...that's super self explanatory by the title. This film is extremely interesting to me because of that notion. It's absolutely horrifying, but we live in the day and age of sex being extremely common place and STDs running wild. The It, as the creature is apparently called, is a living version of that. I'll say it again...that's absolutely horrifying The It "is slow, but it isn't dumb". It literally follows you. Super slowly. No matter where you go, it is following you. It can be anybody, as its sole purpose is to get close to you and kill you. never stated.

The setting of the film is incredible. We start out in a small rural town like many others. If you've ever been to a small rural town, you know the kind of place I'm talking about. The place with one high school and where all the pools are above ground. The locations of the film really help set the world of the characters. There is something much scarier about having a horror film take place in a small town that almost seems shut off from the rest of the world. We are stuck in a place almost lost in time.

But what about the story, you ask? Unfortunately for It Follows, the script isn't as exciting as it needs to be. For the first half or so of the film, I was laughing. I didn't relate to any of the characters as they are all one dimensional and not worth caring about, but I found myself more interesting in the fact that Jake Weary looks like Joshua Jackson than I was with what was going on in the film. It was just so funny. One of the first times we see The It, it is a super old woman. As I stated earlier, It follows you super slowly. And as it being an old woman, I saw no terror whatsoever. The woman was clearly the It, so there was no suspense. It was laughable.

It isn't until a later point when the director uses the notion of the It being anyone to a great advantage. There are times where the film is spooky, but I'd never go so far as to call it terrifying. There were times where I was extremely enticed by the film and cheered at how fantastic certain aspect were, but these moments all revolved around The It. As I said before, the characters are so underdeveloped. There is the nice girl next door, her kind of slutty sister, the unrequited love interest (Who wants to have sex with the girl next door so badly that he is willing to get The It. Seriously, dude. She isn't into you. At any point in the film...ever.), the nerd friend, the rebel guy, and the outsider. Cliche works, but not here. Never once did I care about these characters. This isn't Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street where the characters are expendable and you don't have to care about (most of) them, because you and I both know that Freddy and Jason are the stars of those movies. If you find yourself rooting for the monster, perhaps the human characters need more development.

The director stated that John Carpenter and George Romero were big influences on this film. The opening shot and the score scream John Carpenter. It's almost absurd. I don't see the director becoming one of the next masters of horror anytime soon, but he is well on his way. If he follows this one up with a sequel or another suspenseful film, I'll see if I reconsider. At this point, the director, David Robert Mitchell, has only one other film under his belt. He still has a lot to prove.

The director had a vision and I did enjoy seeing it come to life. If my review seems unkind or gives you the impression that I didn't enjoy the movie, it is because as good as it was, there was a lot of bad, too. I think It Follows is the perfect popcorn flick to share with your friends at a movie night in the next few months. The perfect film to embrace your crush as he/she gets scared. But maybe close over the fact that it's essentially a PSA for safe sex, as that might kill the mood. It follows (No pun intended) in the footsteps of many films that came before it (I had to watch Final Destination afterwards, as I couldn't stop comparing the two in my head) and will most likely not slip into obscurity anytime soon. It might even become a mega cult classic in the next few years, I really don't know. If you are curious about the flick, there isn't much reason to not give it a try. All I know is that for $12.99, I am satisfied.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Gomez Addams - Father, Lover, Train Enthusiast

After writing about Herman Munster, I figured that a tribute to another patriarch was in order. Here is the history of actors who played Gomez Addams.

John Astin (1964-1966, 1972, 1977, 1992-1993)

The original Gomez, Astin starred in the original TV series and in the 1977 TV special, Halloween with the New Addams Family, and voiced the character in an episode of The New Scooby-Doo Movies and the 1992 animated The Addams Family series. That's quite unprecedented. Astin created the character that we know and love today. Hell, he even had a hand in picking the name of the character. His version of a man who is madly in love with his wife, doesn't care how his career as a lawyer is going, cares deeply for his children and trains is still perfect. Without Astin, I would say that The Addams Family might not have been as successful (Even if The Munsters did better in the Nielsen ratings). Not to downplay the rest of the cast, but Gomez is the glue that holds the family together.

Raúl Juliá (1991-1993)

For most people of my generation, Julia is the actor that comes to mind when one thinks of Gomez as we all grew up watching the films The Addams Family and Addams Family Values. Julia brought a more sophisticated side to the character, but also showed more of the Castillian side of Gomez. But the intense love of his wife, Morticia, and his trains was, thankfully, left intact. I absolutely think that Julia was the ideal choice to continue the legacy of Gomez. I couldn't imagine a single actor who could have done better. Unfortunately, Julia passed away a year after the second film was released. I can't help but think of the films that never got made as a result.

Tim Curry (1998)

Tim Curry. We all know the name, but certain people tend to forget that he played Gomez in the 1998 Fox Family original movie, Addams Family Reunion. I have this one on VHS and I watch it around this time of year, as I totally miss the 13 Day of Halloween on Fox Family (And no, you can't convince me what's on ABC Family is the same thing). The unfortunate thing about this film is that Curry is...Curry. I don't think he phoned this one in by any means, but he doesn't try to change himself enough to make it feel any different than Home Alone 2, Clue, Muppet Treasure Island, etc. The fact that he did this made for TV film almost feels beneath him, really.

Glenn Taranto (1998-1999)

The previous film with Curry was essentially a backdoor pilot for a new TV show which was released in the same year. Glenn Taranto took over the role for the series and he played it like John Astin. Normally, things like that kind of bug me, as I feel that an actor doesn't have to fit the mold exactly if it is a brand new incarnation of something. But, I think Taranto's version works extremely well. He looks and sounds a lot like Astin, so it feels almost like a continuation of the original series with a few tweaks. This is helped by the show remaking and updating quite a few episodes from the original series.

Not to mention, Astin came aboard the show to play Grandpa Addams. If that's not a sign that this show was excellent, I don't know what is.

Now, I struggled with whether or not to include the next two people, but I finally decided that their absence would make this article incomplete. (Unlike Lennie Weinrib. Sorry, Lennie.)

Nathan Lane (2010-2011)

The line "Who moved the rock?" will forever be associated with The Addams Family, so it seemed only fitting that the man who uttered it would one day become an Addams. Lane played the character for about a year on Broadway in The Addams Family musical. He certainly looks like how Charles Addams drew Gomez and I am quite fond of what I've heard from the original cast recording.

Roger Rees (2011)

Rees finished out the Broadway run as Gomez. From the little bit that was released of his as the character, he was more in line with what Julia brought to the part than what Lane did with the role. Hopefully one day we will see more of what he did, but I am unsure if the whole performance was ever recorded. Unfortunately, Rees passed away last month. While Gomez was far from the last role he performed, to someone like me, it is an honor of the highest degree.

The Addams Family will always return. In 2010, a reboot from Universal Studios was discussed with Tim Burton creating a stop motion film that used the characters. It was cancelled, but another reboot this time from the owner of the rights to the original series, MGM, was announced two years ago. There hasn't been much motion on it as of the current moment, but I look forward to seeing what might eventually happen.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The History of Herman

Last week, Fabulous Films released Here Come The Munsters on DVD in the UK, which makes every version of The Munsters (Aside from a cartoon and a game show episode) available to watch more easily, as beforehand Here Come The Munsters was only released on VHS.

Since 1964, various actors have donned the role of the Munsters patriarch, Herman. A Frankenstein's Monster like man who is clumsy, kind-hearted, and sometimes a little bit foolish, but always well meaning. In order of their turn as the roles, here is a history of the men who would be Munster.

1. Fred Gwynne (1964-1966 and 1981)

When most people think of Herman Munsters, Gwynne will be the person they remember in the makeup. Much like Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's Monster, you can't really disassociate the two. Gwynne brought a loveable side to Herman and his facial expressions are second to none. Not to mention that his laugh became a key feature of the Herman character. Gywnne played the role past the original series in two films called Munster, Go Home and The Munsters' Revenge before retiring from playing the character.

2. John Schuck (1988-1991)

Before becoming Herman in The Munsters Today, Schuck starred in one of the greatest Halloween specials (The Halloween That Almost Wasn't or The Night Dracula Saved the World) as Frankenstein's Monsters, so he knew a thing or two about playing such a character. I won't pretend to love The Munsters Today, it's not my favorite version of The Munsters and part of that lies with Schuck, unfortunately. While he is a great actor in the show, he never felt like Herman to me. If this was a complete reboot, a lot can be forgiven (More on that later), but to call it a sequel and have an actor who looks nothing and sounds nothing like the actor before his didn't work for me.

3. Edward Herrmann (1995)

I might be biased here, as I love Herrmann from many other things, but he did a great turn as Herman in this telefilm. He looked the part and he knew what it took to play the character by bringing his own take to it, but leaving in enough original Herman to make sure the audience feel like they already knew the character. Here Come The Munsters was great, in my opinion. Breathing new life into the characters, but not forgetting their roots is a very smart way to play it.

4. Sam McMurray (1996)

McMurray is a legend for the sheer fact that he interacted with The Addams Family and The Munsters. A rare thing indeed. McMurray took on the role in The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas. It wasn't until rewatching Here Come The Munsters that I realized that this was a sequel, as Mary Woronov returned as the nosy neighbor. It was unfortunate that the cast of HCTM didn't reprise their roles as this was barely a year later, but McMurray did a great job as Herman. Like Herrmann, McMurray played Herman as the loveable family man we remember from the original series. I'd have liked to see more Herman from McMurray.

5. Jerry O'Connell (2012)

Mockingbird Lane was a brilliant experiment. The other incarnations didn't really attempt to modernize or reinvent The Munsters like Mockingbird Lane did. The characters are still the same monsters we know, but they don't look like them. O'Connell played Herman, who is just a man sewn together instead of a Frankenstein monster with green skin and a flattop head. I think because he looked so different, I didn't expect him to play it just like Gywnne did. This was a new version and that meant the characters didn't need to be compared to the original. I am one of the people who really wished that Mockingbird Lane would have continued. I think this show had a lot going for it.

The Munsters is a well known property, so there will eventually be another name to add to this list. It could come in the from of a movie or a new TV show, but I guarantee that you haven't seen the last of Herman and his family.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Ghost Gallery: The Gray Man

There are certain ghosts in this world that seem to just be interested in scaring the living, but there are those who look to help the living.

A favorite friendly ghost story of mine is of The Gray Man of Pawleys Island, South Carolina. The story of the Gray Man tells of a man in love that tried to take the fastest route to see his fiancee, but meet an abrupt end in a pool of quicksand. The girl was so devastated by the accident, that she began to walk the beach, almost as if searching for him. One day, she found him. He warned her to leave the island for safety, which is just what she and her family did. They were safe and their house was untouched by the storm.

That was the storm of 1822. Since then, others have seen the Gray Man. In 1893, he appeared before the Sea Islands Hurricane. The family that saw him was spared. In 1954, a man named Bill Collins was visited at his home by a man dressed completely in gray. The man warned him to leave and Bill and his wife did just that. Hurricane Hazel hit South Carolina and destroyed thousands of homes and took dozens of lives. When Hurricane Hugo struck in 1989, the Gray Man once again showed up and saved the lives of Jack and Clara Moore.

Many people say that they see the Gray Man on the beach, either waving a warning to them or walking along the sand. Sometimes he talks the warning, others times he instills such a feeling that makes the people feel compelled to leave. Probably the most interesting aspect about the Gray Man is that the homes of the people he has warned are usually left untouched by the storms. As fortunate as that is, it cannot simply be luck or coincidence. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that the Gray Man saves these peoples homes.

While his life tragically ended, the Gray Man has saved numerous others. If you see the Gray Man while walking along the beautiful coastline of South Carolina, tell him thank you...and then get the heck out of there.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Ghost Gallery: Resurrection Mary

As much as I love cryptids, I've always had such a love of ghost stories. Be they true or otherwise, there is just something about a ghostly tale that gives you chills and thrills. I have quite a few favorite stories, so I'm starting a new subsection called Ghost Gallery.

"Beware of hitchhiking ghosts..."

One of the favorite stories is that of Resurrection Mary, just one of many from the Chicago area. As the legend goes, a girl named Mary was attending a dance at Oh Henry Ballroom, now named The Willowbrook Ballroom, with her boyfriend. An argument ensued and she decided to leave the dance early. She didn't get very far down Archer Avenue when she was struck by a car. The driver didn't stop and Mary was left to die. She was later buried in the close by Resurrection Cemetery.

The stories of Mary begin in the 1930's. Jerry Palus claimed that he met a beautiful woman at a local dance hall. They danced and they kissed. She asked him to drive her home, which he did, and she exited the car along Archer Avenue and disappeared into Resurrection Cemetery. This is the most famous and interesting of the stories. This story, by way of a story based on it, eventually became the song "Laurie (Strange Things Happen)" by Dickey Lee. A very haunting song, to be sure.

Mary is described as a beautiful young blonde girl with blue eyes wearing a white party dress. There is a bit of mystery to who Mary was in life. Some believe that she is Mary Bregovy, who passed away in 1934. Others claim that she is Anna "Marija" Norkus, who died in 1927 around the area of Oh Henry ballroom. We may never know for sure who Mary really is, unfortunately.

Over the years, many people have reported seeing Mary walking along Archer Avenue, dancing at Oh Henry's, or in their own car. One man named Ralph claimed to have picked up Mary along Archer Avenue in 1979. Here is what he had to say about his encounter;

"A couple miles up Archer there, she jumped with a start like a horse and said 'Here! Here!' I hit the brakes. I looked around and didn't see no kind of house. 'Where?' I said. And then she sticks out her arm and points across the road to my left and says 'There!'. And that's when it happened. I looked to my left, like this, at this little shack. And when I turned she was gone. Vanished! And the car door never opened. May the good Lord strike me dead, it never opened."

One of the most interesting stories about Mary is that it is believed that she burned her fingerprints into the wrought iron fence around the cemetery. In 1976, someone saw a woman inside of the cemetery with her hands wrapped around the bars. When the police were alerted to potentially help a trapped woman out of the locked cemetery, they saw the bars were bent and burned where the woman was standing. Workers at the cemetery claim that a truck actually caused the damage, but where is the fun in that?

There aren't nearly as many sightings of Mary in recent history. Perhaps she is finally resting in peace or maybe she is just waiting for her next ride. One thing is for sure, if you are ever passing by Resurrection Cemetery on Archer Avenue in Justice, Illinois on a lonely night and a beautiful blonde girl waives you down for a might just be offering a ride to the one and only, Resurrection Mary.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Cryptid Corner: Lake Worth Monster

For most of us, there is a monster living right in our own backyards. One of mine growing up was the Lake Worth Monster. Believed to be a half-man, half-goat creature, much like the Pope Lick Monster. Some called it a goat-fish monster while one little boy thought it was a monster from space. Whatever it is, something is living at Lake Worth.

The Lake Worth Monster was first seen in July of 1969 by quite a few different people. One particular incident of a couple who were "parked" at Lake Worth prompted a story from the local paper. Apparently, the creature tried to take one of the women. Tommy Burson later reported that a creature had jumped on his car and left a scratch about two and a half feet long on the side of it. Police actually started to look into this one after the report.

The most famous encounter with the creature occurred on July 10th of 1969, when the creature hurled a tire at people visiting the lake. This encounter was witness by several different people, including members of the police force. It was claimed that the monster threw the tires over 500 feet, which is pretty impressive. During this event, a picture was taken. It shows the creature as hairy and white all over.

This is the actual photo...

I kid, of course. Here is the real photo.

Not too far off from a Bumble, though.

Since 1969, there are reports of the creature, but nothing nearly as concrete or exciting as all those years ago. Mainly of people hearing his mournful calls in the night. Maybe it's calling out to someone or maybe it's just making sure you know that it's still there.

Cryptid Corner: Honey Island Swamp Monster

In almost every single corner of the world, there is a story of a hominid creature (i.e. Bigfoot, Yeti, Yowie, etc.). But some are a little more interesting than others.

In Louisiana's Honey Island Swamp, there is a legend of a creature that inhabits the swamp. The creature goes by different names including; Letiche, who was believed by the Native American's to be a child raised by alligators, and the Cajun Loup Carou, which sort of means werewolf. One of the other stories behind the creature is that a train wreak in the area released numerous monkeys who began to mate with the alligators in the area. Either way, this creature seems to have been haunting the swamp for hundreds of years, in some form or another.

In 1963, a man named Harlan Ford claimed to have seen the creature. Eleven years later, Ford claimed to have found footprints and a wild boar that seemed to have been killed. When he died six years later, a tape was found amongst his belongings that allegedly showed the creature. Ford's encounter with the creature is the most well known and it generally the basis for the modern legend of the creature, much like Patterson and Gimlin for Bigfoot.

To this day, many people go in search of the monster, but no one since Ford has been lucky (or unlucky) enough to get footage of the creature. We may never know what really lives in Honey Island Swamp.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Cryptid Corner: Dover Demon

There are places in this world where the unexplained seems to take up residence. Dover, Massachusetts is one of those places. In 1977, a creature, later called the Dover Demon, was seen and has never been seen again.

On the night of April 21st, a teenager named Bill Bartlett saw a creature crawling along a stone fence. He described the creature as having "long thin fingers" and "an egg-shaped head" with glowing eyes. Another boy named John Baxter claimed he saw the creature in the woods that same night.

The next day, a girl named Abby Brabham claimed that she say the creature sitting upright not too far from the sightings the night before.

The two boys made sketches of what they saw.

Fair warning, these pictures might send a chill down your spine.

If you notice on the first drawing, you can see the words "I, Bill, Bartlett swear on a stack of Bibles that I saw this creature."

There are many questions to be asked, but the biggest one to me is if the children knew each other? I haven't been able to find the answer to that question, but in a town of roughly 5,000 people at the time, who knows? According to the police, the children were honest, respectable kids.

Since then, there have been no documented sightings of the Dover Demon. A year after the incident, Bill Bartlett was parked with a girl when there was a thump on the car and he saw a creature scurrying away. As it was dark, he couldn't say if it was the same creature. Was someone playing a prank on Bartlett or did the creature seek him out?

Later on, a case of three boys who saw a creature by a pond in 1972 was discovered. "A small figure, deep in the woods, moving at the edge of the pond." was how they described it. Could this have been the first sighting of the Dover Demon? This encounter wasn't wildly reported, it seems, so it should cast no doubt on the 1977 encounters.

An interesting thing to note is that all of these cases took place by water. I know the importance of limestone and water in other parts of the unknown, but the importance of water here is slightly lost on me.

The story of the Dover Demon is unyielding. According to an article in The Boston Globe in 2006, the town and the residents, especially those involved, are still haunted by the encounters. But the town isn't home to just the Dover Demon. According to locals, the town is also home to buried treasure and the Devil on horseback.

Is Dover, Massachusetts a hot spot of otherworldly activity? It seems that might be the case, albeit infrequently. Much of New England is steeped in the supernatural, especially Massachusetts. But that's another story for another time.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Cryptid Corner: Pope Lick Monster

When I was in elementary school, I found a book in the library from author Daniel Cohen entitled "Monsters You've Never Heard Of". That was my introduction into a world of mystery that I have loved ever since. The notion that there are honestly monsters in this world is both terrifying and exciting. Since then, I've read many more books on the subject and with the advances made by the internet, there is so much more information to go on. I've decided to write about some of the stories that fascinate me the most. While there are so many cryptids, some are more interesting than others.

There are a lot of skeptics out there. I'm not going to try to sway you in any manner. If you believe, great. If you don't, that's great, too. As long as you find it interesting and maybe worthy of a chill or two.

Having family from Kentucky, the tale of the Pope Lick Monster is certainly an interesting one. The monster has origins as either a mistreated human-goat hybrid circus performer who vows revenge or a man who was reincarnated after sacrificing goats in exchange for otherworldly power. But what is believed for sure is that the monster is part man and part goat.

The creature lives in the Pope Lick Trestle in Louisville, Kentucky. As with the origins of the creature, there are many tales of who the monster attacks. One is by using hypnosis or mimicing a familiar voice, the monster is able to lure you onto the bridge to be killed by an oncoming train. Other tales describe the use of a bloody axe. What might be most terrifying is the notion that if you see the creature, you will be so afraid that you will jump off the bridge.

The bridge is still in use today, which causes concern for many railroad officials as there is quite a bit of danger from the trains for those looking to see the monster for themselves. Personally, I think that the tales of the creature itself would be enough to drive people away, but as there is an eight foot wall constructed to alleviate concern, I suppose I'm wrong.

So, if you find yourself out in the Gateway to the South by the ol' Pope Lick Trestle and you hear a familiar voice call out to you, it might not be a bad idea to run the other way.

The Exhumed: Cry Baby Lane

Recently, Nickelodeon aired a film called Cry Baby Lane on The 90's are All That. is the thing that slightly concerns me. I had never heard of Cry Baby Lane before. I pride myself on my love of all the spooky kid things from the 90's onward, so for this to slip through the cracks isn't something I'm proud of. In fact, it's a down right shame.

Cry Baby Lane originally aired on October 28th, 2000 on Nickelodeon. Melissa Joan Hart introduced the movie. I'm guessing she was also performing other hosting duties for Nick during the Halloween season. Since that first airing, Cry Baby Lane had never been re-aired until 2011. I'm not sure how many times it has aired since, but it has to be very few. However, you can watch the entire film on YouTube. It's good for at least one watch. Just to say "I've seen Cry Baby Lane."

Cry Baby Lane started life as a 10 million dollar feature film, but instead became a lower budget made for TV movie. One wonders what the original script was like, as the film only runs a little over an hour and would have been a complete waste of 10 million dollars.

When Nick re-aired the movie, they claimed it was banned. The real story is that, apparently, it was simply forgotten. I'm willing to buy that. Having now watched the film, it's extremely lackluster. It's not really scary and it certainly isn't extremely violent at all, which was a claim as to why it was never aired again. There are episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? that send a chill down my spine even now, so I'd freely admit if this were a bit scary. Hell, even The Haunting Hour has creeped me out on occasion. Yet, Cry Baby Lane is far from scary.

Cry Baby Lane takes cues from various other films/TV shows like Pumpkinhead, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and Goosebumps. The same year this aired, Are You Afraid of the Dark? ceased production. I think Nick saw this as a good chance to capitalize on that.

I have a few issues with the movie. It feels very rushed, but seems to take forever to get to the end. It starts rather strong with an interesting tale of two conjoined twins, one good and one evil, that are separated at death. That makes for a good start, but it devolves from there. I won't air out all the problems, but the biggest issue for me is Cry Baby Lane. It sounds unrealistic as a street name, the twins clearly died as teens or twenty-somethings as we see the bad twin later in the film, and it just doesn't work for me that there is a crying baby noise used throughout. But it's a very evocative title and Frank Langella is worthy of so much more than this.

I think Cry Baby Lane squandered a lot of potential. With some rewrites and a bigger budget for quality actors, this could have become a cult classic. But as it stands, Cry Baby Lane will be more remembered for being forgotten than it will be for anything else.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Exhumed: 13 Days of Halloween - Rhythm and Boos

Something I rather miss from my childhood is Fox Family's 13 Days of Halloween. Now, you can claim that ABC Family's 13 Nights of Halloween is the same. But you would be sadly misinformed. Now, I will always claim that 13 days is not enough for Halloween. My emails about changing it to 31 Days of Halloween have not been returned. But there was something so great about the last two weeks of October having so much Halloween programming, that beggars can't be choosers.

I could go on for hours about why the Nights are worse than the Days, but I must admit that they are getting better. Showing Hocus Pocus and The Addams Family numerous times is always a way to get on my good side. Yet today, we discuss nostalgia and this item has it in spades.

Many of you might not remember this, but I hope most of you will. If not, let me explain. This CD was a promotion for the 13 Days of Halloween that was attached to boxes of those delightful Monster Cereals. This was right around the time that I became obsessed with these characters, so naturally, this CD was amongst my collection.

 It wasn't until last year that I finally put down some money and repurchased this item and I was very glad I did. It was a flow of nostalgia from the opening where Count Chocula tells you to eat some cereal to glorious sounds of Halloween. I have long claimed that Halloween was at its prime around this time and this proves my point.

The CD features 9 songs featuring music or characters from shows like Big Wolf on Campus, Digimon, Angela Anaconda, and The Kids from Room 402. I'm not sure the exact reason that this CD was made, but why question a work of art?

You can easily find this CD on eBay for a relatively cheap cost. I'd just urge caution, as it's an old promo CD from a cereal box that you make sure you're not getting a scratched up piece of junk.

I'll leave you with my favorite song from the album. Enjoy!

Monday, February 9, 2015

Michael Myers is Back...Again...

This is Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton. Over the past few years, they have been the writers for; the last four Saw films, the Feast franchise, The Collector movies, the Hellraiser remake, a remake of The Tingler, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and many more. They are well known enough in the horror world, but they have just been hired to pen the next installment in the Halloween franchise...a daunting task if ever there was one.

The first film in the Halloween franchise was released in 1978 and the last film in 2009. For almost six years, rumors have been flying around as to what the next film will be about. Rumors of Tom Atkins returning to the franchise were discussed and Patrick Lussier and Todd Farmer, who were behind the remake of My Bloody Valentine, were sloted to make a film called Halloween 3D, which seemed to continue Rob Zombie's remake series.

At this point, however, all bets are off. According to a source, the film is being called a "recalibration". What that means is extremely open for interpretation. While some enjoyed Rob Zombie's remake series, many fans did not. Personally, I wasn't impressed. I saw both in theaters and they were just awful. But I will agree that the series needs recalibrating. There are too many timelines to deal with and too many gaps in logic for the series to continue as it is. This does leave open a few ideas. Here are the ones I think might happen.

Idea #1 - Continue with Halloween 9

This one is pretty risky, but not unheard of. The most recent Texas Chainsaw film was a sequel to the original. This would be a sequel to Resurrection, the last in the original timeline. At the end, Michael was taken to the morgue and he wakes up, that's not an awful place to start. But we are thirteen years and two films removed from Resurrection. It would have to be an amazing story in order for things to work out.

Idea #2 - Continue with Halloween III

There has never been a third Halloween film with Michael Myers (Not a TV commercial doesn't really count). While Rob Zombie's films leave off with Michael and Loomis seemingly very dead and Laurie completely insane in a mental hospital, that also isn't a bad place to start. This was the idea where Tom Atkins would play a doctor at the hospital. Maybe Laurie would be the new Michael and in her crazy warped reality, she sees Michael kill all the people, but she is really the one doing it. It could be fun or it could be awful.

Idea #3 - Michael is "The Boogeyman"

This seems like the idea that will most likely happen. The town of Haddonfield is past all the horror, but the story of Michael Myers still continues. He is used by parents to scare their kids into behaving. If you don't eat your vegetables, Michael Myers will come and get you. That kind of thing. But maybe it gets taken a little too far by some of the local teenagers, who on Halloween night go out and start killing people dressed as Michael. But in the last minutes, Michael returns and kills the copycats. Thus, you can continue with Michael as the honest killer.

There are more, but I think it will be something close to one of these three. We might see a revival of the Cult of Thorn storyline, who really knows? There is no concrete date planned for the film, but with only eight months left until Halloween, we most likely won't be seeing it this year. I, personally, am looking forward to the next film. Good, bad, or otherwise, it will be nice to have Michael Myers back.